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| a couple bottles of blue moon later.
i'm not drunk or even buzzed but the assumption that i could write a ten page paper on schizophrenia while drinking proved disastrous. i had finally convinced myself that even though there is a fine line between an educated analysis and a misconception, i have yet to cross it...hopefully...he he he
but forget about that.
a few days ago, this scene appeared as i was listening to postal service in my ipod. i remember last year, every night of every day, i would leave aj's apartment at around 4 or 5 in the morning. it was winter with the temperature in the single digits so i was bundled up pretty tightly with my eyes being the only part of my body out in the cold. there was a fog and it was snowing. the snow flakes as made evident over and over again by corny chic flicks were different from one another. once in a while, certain snow flakes would reflect the light from a street light and i would be a witness to that corny fact. obviously i would try to catch some with my tongue, habit i guess, but failed as soon i realized i would rather be warm than subject myself to further embarassment. probably b/c of the time, i was usually the only one in the street with a random cop car passing by once in a while.
i was huddled up and surprisingly warm and with either postal service or her space holiday blasting in my head phones. it was heaven as the thc made its way through every vein and artery in my body.
it was a scene right out of movie except i was not a depressed romantic who's heart was ripped apart by the supposed "the one" and left contemplating on the pain that she had caused me. i would look up at the snow and reminisce of the moments i had with her and wished for the mistakes i had committed to be taken back.
no, i was just a pothead enjoying the walk home. same path, same music, same state of mind
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| i was sitting down the other day and for some odd reason, the environment or the atmosphere barring no influence on it whatsoever, a scene flashed itself from my freshman year in high school. to a certain extent, that year was a bit overwhelming at first since that was basically the first time i realized how minuscule i was to the entire school. all clicks from various middle schools merged and i was left looking in from the outside. it was weird. all the "cool" people found each other, the "geeks" found each other. it was like everyone had a predetermined role all along, and all these time we were left to think it was going to be a whole new experience. i didn't know where i belong and i didn't wanna be in any of those groups since there was that division which meant you can only be friends with the people in your clique. i became friends w/ everyone but since i never really belong to any sort of clique, i did not made any close friends. this could explain the fact that i don't necessarily plan on staying in michigan b/c i don't have those close associations that anyone from a certain area usually have. all the close friends i can claim i found in college so no real high school friends that could really tie me down to westland.
but back to the story. i remembered i was in this computer class and i sat in the corner surrounded by a bunch of upperclassmen. my teacher had grown fond of me since i had a weird name, only brown person, and the only freshman in the class. it was fun, and i remembered on day, this girl who was facing me decided to rant about how she hated the word vagina. she hated how this "ugly" word came to claim the woman genitalia. she said that "guys were lucky because penis is such a nice word." penis is not that great word. it's kinda an ugly word too. i guess vagina sounded more awkward than penis???
this was a useless thought but i felt compelled to write it as to remember this specific thought somewhere down the line...ha ha
happy belated thanksgiving to y'allz!!!
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